January 2010
79 posts
I survived my 26th birthday and all I got was this...
National Tragedies That Have Occurred on My...
Challenger Explosion (1986)
Death of J. D. Salinger (2010)
Current design of the flag of Canada is chosen by an act of Parliament (1965)
The sound those people make who scrape the food...
State of the Union
Congressmen be standing then sitting then standing again more times than a Catholic at mass.
Good Point
Me: Ha, Chris is scared of birds...
Chris: Seagulls are horrifying. I don't care what you say.
Halle: HA!
Chris: You'll be sorry when those seagulls keep getting bigger and re-evolve into pterodactyls
Halle & I: Ohhhh...
- -
Here was my reasoning on the whole seagull evolution thing: we were all at the beach once when we witnessed a seagull swallow a tern whole. It was bird on bird violence. Anyways, if seagulls continue to eat that way, then their increased caloric intake will undoubtedly cause them to become HUGE. So huge that some might describe them as pterodactyl like.
And how is that not horrifying?
“Ten grand, let me see you shake it like you got no
bones in your body and you...”
“Ooh! I would … N’T!!!”
– Kenneth
BBMak - “Back Here”
I’m still...
My plan was to get up early to go to the DMV...
but then the Oxygen Network had to go ahead and play a Roseanne marathon, so … Why do today what I can put off till tomorrow?
Mika - “Happy Ending”
Life Lesson Learned the Hard Way:
Wait until you are done sneezing before attempting to put your contacts in.
Shakira - “Ciega Sordomuda”
Once upon...
"30 Rock" season 3 on DVD
Me: I feel like I'm the male 'Liz Lemon'
Will: [sympathetically] Oh, no . . . Hey, come on . . . She's got things WAY more together than you do!
WatchYou know when you can feel yourself slowly becoming obsessed with some(thing/one)?
hallekiefer asked: How many farts does it take you to fill up a Snuggie?
Damn you, Ben Aaron!
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Most mornings, the first thought in my head as I'm...
colon, hyphen, forward slash
I’ve been feeling awfully homesick ever since I came back from Christmas, but I haven’t been able to put two and two together until I spoke with my mom earlier.
Basically, January is a rough month:
It’s my birthday next week and I’m far far away from my family (the furthest east the Halls go is Butte, MT)
I recently got a new phone, gaining a New York number but giving...
I'm a math teacher, not an English teacher,...
Student: Mister, what does 'unequivocally' mean?
Me: It means 'not quivocally'
Student: Oh . . . What's 'quivocally'
Me: Nothing, I was just kidding!
Student: [rolling eyes] . . . Can I go to the bathroom?
Backstreet Boys - “Show Me the Meaning of...
I was going to take a shower today
but then I thought, “Hey! Why don’t you just go back to bed instead?”
10 more days till my birthday!
I’m feeling like a little Alanis on this...
S5E25
thirdanddelaware:
THE CHICKEN SHIRT
The chicken shirt has been covered before but for the finale of season five, no holds have been barred! Every member of the family dons this charming little number in a tour de force of poultry themed fashion frightfulness! The one-size-fits-all “easy fit” makes it easy for every member of the Conner clan to wear this communal chemise, and we are...
Bonnie Raitt - “I Can’t Make You Love...
Friday Nights
Every Friday, the teachers at my school all go out drinking at a local bar after school. I rarely go, and they often ask: “Hall, why do you never come out with us anymore?”
The reason: I can’t control myself. I say, “oh, alright, I’ll stay for just one drink,” but that one drink quickly snowballs into the world’s biggest bender.
Well, I went out with...
hallekiefer asked: Is it true that your butt has become physically fused to your couch?
michaelnothing asked: The office I work for has cast Hilary in a few things. I will make this happen for your film. ;)
Call me old fashioned
I’m from the school of thought that you shouldn’t take down a single decoration until there are more pine needles on the floor than there are on the Christmas tree.
In other words, until I’m living in a $2,000/month tinder box.
“Today, President Obama honored more than 80 teachers for excellence in math and...”
– Conan O’Brien
poopledoodledoo asked: Have you ever seen the film "Half Nelson" with Ryan Gosling? (In my head, you are Ryan Gosling's character - minus the crack.)
