January 2011
46 posts
December 2010
22 posts
My 82-year-old Grammy has always claimed she has a...
Me: Ooh, Grammy! How about this? It looks pretty good!!
Grammy [skeptical]: Hmmm, is it on sale?
Me: Uh, yes.
Grammy [interest piqued]: What percent off?
Me: Mmmmmm . . . 40%
Grammy [so over it]: Ha! I think we can do better than that. Find me someone who works here.
LDRs
Jeff: So, there's a blizzard happening back east right now, which means my train trip back is probably canceled, I'll miss a day of work, and Miley will have to be all by himself for one more night. Oh, and Katie's flight is most definitely canceled, too.
Me: Oh well that's just G.D. perfect! The first blizzard of the winter and OF COURSE it has to happen during vacation so I don't even get a goddamn snow day off from work!!!
Me: Effin' great . . . You know this is so typical -- all year I've been praying for a snow day and th-
Jeff: Uhhhhh!!!! . . . after all that I said, and THAT'S your number one concern?!
Me: . . . just kidding?
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IN-N-OUT for Dinner!
Who would you rather?
Last night during Christmas dinner, my 82-year-old Grammy was telling us all about the side effects of her new Parkinsons medication.
One of them happens to be “increased sexual desire,” which, she informed us, has lead to an increase in the number of, shall we say … romantic dreams she has been having.
She then shared that the other night her dream-suitor du jour was one Mr....
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Below is the contents of a note a student in my...
Dear Mr. Hall,
What’s up? Was math your favorite subject as a kid? If not, what was? I’m really sorry about the class yesterday. I really wanted to learn! I mean, I WAS the one who told the entire class to be quiet. If you could have any job in the whole world, what would it be? I would be an astronaut (even though I’m here for drama). What other grades do you teach and...
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Off topic but still an important lesson
Student: Mr. Hall, hypothetical: what would you do if a student came up to ask you a question and their breath was all stinky?
Me: If?
. . .
Me: IF?!!! There is nothing hypothetical about that question -- that happens to me EVERY DAY because ALL OF YOU HAVE HORRIBLE BREATH!!!
Student: Ew . . . So, what do you do?
Me: Easy, hold my breath and pray it isn't a long question.
My childhood fantasy come true.
And I can watch it over and over again.
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I'm sitting in my empty classroom, quietly grading...
Out in the hallway, there is a group of students playing a game of “Yea, They Sexy/No, They Not Sexy” in which they name each of the teachers at the school and decide whether or not we meet their standards of sexiness.
I am happy yet slightly disturbed in reporting that when my name came up, the verdict was, “Yea, he sexy — exspecially when he wears those tight...